


Flightless

by tawagato



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, M/M, Mature Rating for Triggering Themes, Not Canon Compliant, Old People are so Important, Physical Abuse, Pscyological Disorders, So much angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-08-09 05:29:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7788568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tawagato/pseuds/tawagato
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's probably a saying that describes how dark it is sometimes. Maybe it's not dark outdoors, where the sun lets its warmth cascade upon the pink blossoms on the trees and blesses the world with its eternal light. Maybe it's not the people with their joyous smiles and playful conversations that are dark. Perhaps it's more of an internal thing. Something that slowly eats away at your passion and will. Something that possesses you and encases you in sloth.</p><p>It's the kind of dark that people put shame upon. Consider it an excuse to laze around and do nothing. It's the kind of dark that seperates people, rips bonds apart like it's no big deal. It's the scary kind of dark, the kind of dark that leaves you questioning. Makes you rethink every part of your life, makes you destroy yourself.</p><p>Of course, to avoid this, you ignore the oncoming darkness that you know will eventually swallow you whole. Some people excell at doing so. But one does not simply get rid of the looming dark. It's always there, and will strike when least expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. At the Corner of First and Amistad

There's probably a saying that describes how dark it is sometimes. Maybe it's not dark outdoors, where the sun lets its warmth cascade upon the pink blossoms on the trees and blesses the world with its eternal light. Maybe it's not the people with their joyous smiles and playful conversations that are dark. Perhaps it's more of an internal thing. Something that slowly eats away at your passion and will. Something that possesses you and encases you in sloth.

It's the kind of dark that people put shame upon. Consider it an excuse to laze around and do nothing. It's the kind of dark that seperates people, rips bonds apart like it's no big deal. It's the scary kind of dark, the kind of dark that leaves you questioning. Makes you rethink every part of your life, makes you destroy yourself.

Of course, to avoid this, you ignore the oncoming darkness that you know will eventually swallow you whole. Some people excell at doing so. But one does not simply get rid of the looming dark. It's always there, and will strike when least expected.

◆◇•-----•◇◆

Akaashi Keiji always found it easiest to strive for perfection. He made sure to follow the same routine every day without fail. His grades were in top shape, nothing below 95%. His room was neat and orderly, as per usual. He was composed, just as his parents would want him to be.

He tried his hardest to remain silent, not to let any imagination squeeze itself past his barrier. Emotions included, he constantly reminded himself to not let go of the perfect son his family expected him to be.

Akaashi was a single child, not ever having a sibling to grow up along side with. His parents, both reserved and lawyers, had never planned to have a child, let alone a boy. They had, if anything, wanted a female to doll up and make beautiful. They wanted to show her off like the prize she would be, but their hopes were soon shattered.

He found it easy to upset the two. Akaashi had always looked up to his parents, but they only ever looked down at him. They pushed him to his limits, forced him into a cookie cutter that he never fit in to. He used to love art, yet his parents crushed his creativity then and there.

When he came home one day and announced that he wished to join the volleyball team at his primary school, he was scolded violently. His mother struck him first, followed closely by his father's hand. It was the day he realized how much of a dissapointment he was to the people who gave birth to him. Being seven at the time, he didn't know much about what it meant. When he came home a week later with news that he had made a friend, he recieved tne same treatment.

For years Akaashi closed himself off, made sure to keep on the down-low. He still played volleyball, but solemnly and alone. He practiced, using all of his free time to improve. He found a prestigious high school far away from his home, one that his parents would surely approve of. He decided, when he was away from the people who caged him, he could let go. Do things he found enjoyable without restraining himself.

He was sent away to Tokyo for his studies as soon as his middle school days ended. His mother was overjoyed to hear that her son wanted to go to a school so far. His father agreed to it immediately, under the condition that his grades were kept high and that he was on his best behaviour. Despite knowing that being on his best behaviour meant keeping the gates of creativity securely closed, he payed no mind to it. How would his parents know what he did? He'd be too many kilometers away for them to know.

He made peace living in a small apartment, a five minute walk from school. It was a small, monochromatic flat with a nice kitchen accompanied by a single bedroom and living room. There was a bathroom that was found down the same gray hallway as the bedroom, completed with a shower and toilet. His parents would send him enough money to get by each month with rent and food, but no more. He decided he would need to find a small job to pay for his own things.

It took no time at all for Akaashi to unpack-- his parents didn't buy him more than three boxes worth of items for him to take with him in all of his years living with them. Even so, he was content. His bookshelf was lined with books (all being informational; that's all his mother would purchase for him), his bed was neatly made. His clothes were folded and put away properly, nothing one sock amis. His desk held paper and pencils, ready for the schoolwork thrown at him.

The only thing missing was food. He decided he would go shopping after he cleaned himself up. There was a small market he would go to for any necessities. After showering, he made his way down the sidewalk. His wallet the back pocket of his jeans, he hummed a small tune-- something he usually would be severely scolded for. He felt unusually blissful, being able to let go like he was.

The trip to the market was relatively uneventful, Akaashi grabbing only what he would need for the next week. There were to other boys, who seemed to be a bit older than he, and the cashier. The two boys were quite loud, talking to one another about absurd things. Akaashi hadn't heard of most of the things, assuming they were references from the video games and books he was banned from. Shrugging it off, he continued to reach for what he needed, only to find that it was much to high frl him to reach. He hadn't quite hit his growth spirt yet, so he was on the shorter side.

He stared intently at the bread he was attempting to take, it being the only whole wheat bread there. It was inconvenient, to say the least. He didn't really want to ask someone for help, but at the same time, he really needed the bread.

"Need some help?" A voice had cut through his thoughts, startling him. It came from a boy significantly taller than he, dark, copper-like eyes looking down at him. They reminded him of his father's condescending eyes.

"Uh, yeah," Akaashi said, akwardly pointing to the bread laying on the top shelf. The boy, jet black bedhead resting upon his head, grabbed the bread with ease, handing it to Akaashi politely. "Thank y-"

"Kuroo! Where'd you run off to?" Another person called for their friend, obviously being the boy with the cat eyes next to Akaashi. He'd interrupted Akaashi in his thanks, making the boy feel oddly embarrassed.

The person behind the voice peeked his head around the corner, finding Kuroo with Akaashi. "Oh, there you are. Hello there!" He waved enthusiastically at Akaashi, who stared at him with wide eyes before returning the gesture. "What did you do to the poor boy, Kuroo? Please tell me you didn't hurt him."

"What? No, of course not. I was helping him, duh," Kuroo retorted in fake modesty.

"Yes, helping him," the other boy said, rolling his eyes. Turning his gaze to Akaashi, he smiled widely. "He wasn't rude, was he?"

As Akaashi shook his head, Kuroo grinned. "See? I'm always this kind."

The two boys started to banter, making Akaashi uncomfortable. He couldn't just leave, especially without thanking Kuroo.

"Kuroo-san?" He called gently, stopping the scuffle in seconds. "Thank you for helping me."

Kuroo laughed heartily. "It wasn't a problem. Say, you go to school around here?"

"Yes, I will be starting my first year at Fukurodani soon."

"Hey, hey, hey!" The other boy said, hanging off his friend. "That's where I go! Bokuto Koutarou," he smiled, extending his hand. Akaashi looked at it, hesitating before shaking it. It was the kindest physical contact that he'd had in awhile, making his lips turn upward slightly.

"Akaashi Keiji. It's nice to meet you, Bokuto-san," he replied before letting go of Bokuto's hand.

A buzz came from Kuroo's pocket, making him pull it out to see what the notification was. "Oh, shit, dude. We gotta go, Kenma's mad-- like, really mad. He said that he needs his energy drink now," Kuroo said, tugging at Bokuto's arm.

"Ah, man. Guess we'll see you around, Akaashi!" Bokuto flashed his contagious smile, before turning to follow behind Kuroo, who had already begun walking out of the store.

Akaashi stood still for a moment before regaining his composure and grabbing the last of what he needed. He met an older woman and the register, placing his basket on the counter.

Her graying hair showed her age, her wrinkles light and helped with the form of her sweet smile. She was short, hunched over slightly as she hummed away her work. She moved quickly, ringing up all of the items in front of her.

"You friends with those two?" She asked, reffering to the Kuroo and Bokuto who had long since left the market.

"Not really. I moved here recently and they were simply helping me out. Though, one of them goes to the school I will be going to," Akaashi replied, smiling gently as he pulled cash from his wallet.

The woman laughed. "You definitely don't seem like the city type. Where are you coming from?""

"I'm from the Miyagi area." The cashier looked up from her work, her smile a bit smaller the before.

"Miyagi? That's quite the distance. Did your parent's job tranfer them here?" She asked, her gaze still on Akaashi.

"Oh, no. I came here alone, both my mother and father still reside back at home," he said, flipping through his money to give the lady the right amount.

The woman was evidently taken back by such information. "You're here in the city alone? You can't be older than 15, right? Why are you in Tokyo?"

Akaashi scratched at the back of his neck, sighing. "I wished to go to a school here and my parents were eager to let me go."

A pout formed on the senior's lips as she handed Akaashi his groceries. "Now that's not right. One of them should'va tagged along with you. It's dangerous out there, especially when you're traveling alone. Be careful, you hear?"

"Of course, miss. Thank you for your concern," Akaashi bowed in respect.

Smile returning, the old woman laughed. "There's no need for the formalities. Just call me Gwen, okay? You seem like a sweet boy, so please stop by again. I'd like to be sure your alright here without your parents."

"I'll come here often, Gwen-san," Akaashi promised. There was a gentle smile upon his face, soft and kind. He left the store after waving and exchanging goodbyes with Gwen. Akaashi liked her- she had a good heart.

He returned to his apartment, the late hour setting in on him. He slowly put the food away, organizing it in an order he was the most familiar with. When completed, he threw himself onto his bed and under the covers. They encased him in a warm hug, lulling him into a sound, dreamless sleep.

 


	2. You're the Judge, so Set Me Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi is going somewhere in life, and that somewhere seems to be pretty nice.

As a man of his word, Akaashi paid a visit to Gwen's quaint little shop every week, always on a Thursday at seven in the evening sharp. He simply made it part of his routine, even if he didn't necessarily need to purchase anything. He was there and he found his presence one of his top priorities. 

His parents upheld their deal, sending him just enough money to get by on the first of every month. With the school break still far from ending, Akaashi's other priorities consisted of finding a suitable, part-time work place and practising volleyball. He was determined to improve to the best of his abilities, to branch out farther than textbooks. 

He made sure to wake up at six in the morning, just as the sun peeked over the horizon in a beautiful array of colours. He promtly showered and dressed, eating a small but healthy breakfast, brushed his teeth, and was out the door by 6:30. Akaashi found walking very calming, and did it often. He'd wander the sidewalks in search of nothing in particular, just taking in the unfamiliar territory that surrounded him. Living in such was soothing. Akaashi felt as though a heavy weight had been released, despite the fact that his shoulders were still heavy with burden. He held his head higher, straightened his spine taller.

His walks always led him to the local library, a place he was so at peace with. He could relax, immersing himself in the millions and billions of pages filled with words. Though, on every other day, he'd sit at the community computers in search for work. Nothing caught his eye, and if it did, it didn't work with his strictly-followed schedule. But, he was feeling particularly optimistic, so he held high hopes for his finds. 

Alas, his eyes were caught on a link-- an ad for a job for working at a small daycare. Now, Akaashi had no such experiences with children. His only true qualification was that he once was a child. He was skeptical, but the times and pay were so nice and the website that the link had taken him to was so alluring that he may have put in an application. 

When he left the library that day, his insides held the satisfactory feeling of nervousness. Akaashi's life had always been layed out for him, detailed delicately by his mother and father. The very fact that he was reaching out and grabbing for new things was exhilarating. It almost made him feel like a toddler who was fresh and new to the world, filled to the brim with curiosity.

He decided to visit Gwen, because, well, why not? He hadn't a reason not to. And anyways, he enjoyed their talks a great deal. She was such a kindhearted woman, and was plenty of fun to spend time with. The two could talk for hours and not get bored. Akaashi had formed quite the profound bond with the old woman, and treasured it greatly.

As per usual, the shop was relatively empty when he arrived. Gwen held a magazine in her wrinlked hands, skimming over the pages quickly before flipping to the next. When Akaashi approached, Gwen looked up over the top of the glossy paper before lowering it, a smile on her face.

"Keiji, my boy! How are you today?" She asked, slowly standing to give the boy a small hug and lead him behind the counter. 

"I'm doing very well today, Gwen-san; thank you for asking. How about yourself?" He asked, returning the smile and bowing slightly before he sat down on the stool beside Gwen's. 

"I'm doing just dandy. Now, I must ask-- only because it's unusual for you to be here at this time-- is everything alright? Nobody's hurt you right?" Gwen asked, holding her hand up. "I may smile all the time, honey, but I've got a mean backhand and I'm not afraid to use it if I need to."

Akaashi let out a small laugh. "No, nothing of the sort. It's simply been a good day and I wanted to pay a visit."

The toothy grin reappeared on the old woman's face in an instant. "That's wonderful to hear, Keiji! So, tell me, what happened?"

"I woke up in a pleasant mood today, and I have an interview for a job tomorrow working at a daycare. The weather's so nice right now and things are just wonderful," Akaashi said, sighing happily. "I haven't felt this content in awhile, you know? I enjoy it, that's all."

Gwen's smile was proud and strong. "I'm happy for you, Akaashi. It's good to know that all is well in that life of yours."

"I appreciate it, Gwen-san."

"Any time, kiddo."

◆◇•-----•◇◆

The interview went smoothly, the woman conducting it being a very welcoming person. Akaashi met some of the children that had been there at the time, taking a liking to them immediately. There were seven of them; two little boys and five girls. 

The eldest, one boy and two twin females, were no older than seven. The boy was a hyper child with equally wild red hair that stuck up at every angle. The girls were identical, blonde-haired and hazel-eyed. They were tall, at least 135 centimeters. The boy was of average height for his age, but looked short compared to his peers. 

The girls and boys mingled together, playing with an assortment of toys. Everyone was very inclusive, something that warmed Akaashi's heart. Though, there was a smaller boy who sat in the corner of the classroom, head downcast, staring at the white linoleum floor.

The interviewer, who noticed Akaashi's questioning and worried gaze, sighed. "He's alright. He-- Mako-- isn't very good at being in social situations. The poor boy, he's had a lot to stress about with his parent's divorce. We've tried to have a few of our other workers, who are all wonderful with the other kids, talk to him, but he won't budge."

"Do you mind if I speak to him?" Akaashi asked, not removing his eyes from Mako. 

"Go for it. Anything helps, really." The woman shrugged, watching as Akaashi walked over and squatted in front of the pale boy's slumped body.

"Hey, buddy. My name's Akaashi, and I'm going to start working here pretty soon. So, hello." Akaashi's voice was quiet and calm, no hint of condescendance.

"Hi," came the small, whispered response. Akaashi smiled lightly as the boy peeked his dark eyes from under his long, brun hair. His eyes were full of emotion and negativity, and Akaashi made it his plan to replace those feelings with something on a more positive note. 

"I hear your name's Mako. Can you tell me something about yourself? I'd like to get to know you."

Mako hesitated before answering. "I like to draw."

"Really? That's super cool. What kind of things do you like to draw?" Akaashi made sure to keep his tone lighthearted and easy.

"Anything that comes to mind, I guess." He seemed conflicted about answering Akaashi's questions, but his voice raised in volume-- just a little bit. 

"Could you show me?" Akaashi earned a small, quick nod from Mako. He stood up, wiping his hands on his little trousers as he walked over to his bag. Akaashi watched him pull out a blue folder and rezip his bag before he returned to his previous spot. Mako opened his folder and pulled out a peice of paper, holding it out to Akaashi.

Akaashi gently removed it from his hands, inspecting what completely covered the front. There wasn't a single space that wasn't coloured; the white of the paper had been replaced with an owl. An owl with the brightest orange eyes, flying through the darkest gray sky. Akaashi took note of the tree in the corner, and the fact that a chain barred onto the leg of the bird led to said tree. 

"This is beautiful, Mako," Akaashi said earnestly. He looked back at Mako, who was hiding a blushing face with his hands. Akaashi laughed, patting his back gently. "Really, though, this is very good. Why don't you show it to Miss Shino?" He asked, gesturing to the woman who interviewed him.

"She wouldn't like it."

"Oh, I doubt that. I think that she'd find it as amazing as I did," Akaashi replied with the wave of his hand. He stood up, holding his hand out for the boy. "Come on, do you want to show her?"

Mako looked up at Akaashi, a doubtful look on his face as he took Akaashi's helping hand to stand. "I don't know..."

Still holding Mako's hand, Akaashi walked over to the confused woman. She looked at Akaashi with her brows furrowed, but he simply smiled. She turned her gaze to the younger boy who bashfully held out the drawing to her.

"Oh? What's this?" She asked, looking at the drawn owl. She gasped quietly, taking the art in her hands to look at it closely. "Wow, Mako! This is fantastic!"

Mako's blush deepened as he hid behind Akaashi. "Mr. Akaashi wanted me to show it to you..." His voice trailed off, not liking the attention he was recieving. 

Shino held the drawing out in front of her, marveling it. "It's very good, Mako. Do you want to put it on the art board?" 

The little boy that was using Akaashi's leg as his shield shook his head vigorously. "No, I don't want to," he said. "That's for Mr. Akaashi."

"Oh, what a nice thing to do!" Shino exclaimed, squatting down to Mako's level. "I'm proud of you, buddy." She pat his head, standing back up as she did so. After handing Akaashi the paper, she smiled at Akasshi, who returned the gesture and led Mako back to where they had begun. 

"Are you sure you want me to have this? I wouldn't want to take it from you."

"Yeah, I mean, I guess it kind of reminds me of a part of you, in a way," Mako said. "I'm not sure why, but I feel like it is just something that I unintentionally made for you."

Akaashi's smile grew, it's happiness directed towards the small boy at his feet. "Thank you, Mako. I'll keep this with me for a very long time."

"Really?"

"Of course!" He replied, tightening his grip on the gift. "It will actually be the first decoration in my apartment."

"You live in an empty apartment?" Mako tilted his head in confusion. 

Akaashi laughed. "You could certainly call it that. I don't have much more than the necessities, like school books and clothes."

"Well, I'll make sure to make more drawings for you. Such little things must get boring after awhile."

"Next time, I promise we'll make a bunch of stuff together, okay?" 

Mako frowned. "Why not now?"

"I gotta go," Akaashi explained. "I start work next week, so we have to wait. But, that just means we have more time to come up with ideas!"

Green eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, filled with passion and excitement. "Oh, true! I'll come up with as many ideas as I can!" 

"That's good, we'll be super ready for Monday! I'll see you then, okay?" Akaashi said, ruffling Mako's already messy brun hair. 

"Okie dokie," Mako said with a little smile on his face. As Akaashi walked away, he sent a little wave, making Akaashi's heart swell with joy. "Bye, Mr. Akaashi."

Shino met him at the door, holding out her hand. "So, do you think you'll come back?" She asked jokingly, shaking his hand. 

"Of course. This seems like a wonderful place," he responded.

"I'm glad to hear that. I guess I will see you on Monday, then!" 

Akaashi bid his farewells, waving to all of the other kids as well. As he stepped outside, he took a deep breath. 

If this was what living without limitations was like, he would take it any day. If he could express himself as such without the bounds of his parents, he would take off running.

Because, damn, this was nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops i wrote this at two in the morning but felt bad for not updating


	3. Your Words are Knives that Often Leave Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is literally so late and I am so sorry. I promise I will get the next chapter out much sooner (maybe?).

He had moved out, away from his parents, away from his captivity. He had tried his hardest to keep as much distance from his mother and father as humanly possible, and as far as he was concerned, he thought he had succeeded. 

That is, until he got a phone call.

Of course, he didn't have his own cell phone-- his parents weren't willing to pay for something like that. He was planning on purchasing one with the money he made from work, but for the time being, there was an old, heavy phone connected to the wall of his apartment by a curled wire that he could use. 

As he was busy preapring himself for the school year through his textbooks, Akaashi could hear the loud ringing of the phone from his bedroom. He stood, walking into the hallway toward the kitchen. The closer Akaashi got, the more dread that filled him. He hoped that it was just his landlord, just a pointless survey call. With shakey fingers, he grabbed the phone in all of it's beige-y whiteness and removed it from the dock it rested on. 

"Hello?" He said, curiosity holding it's ground in the light tremble of his voice. 

"Ah, Keiji, hello." Akaashi wanted to collapse to the floor right then and there. He knew his mother's voice by heart, and he whished he didn't have to be reminded of it now. 

"Oh, Mother. How are you?" He asked, voice stiff and hard. He had grabbed a stool that was sitting next to the counter, moving it so that he could rest his legs. Knowing his mother, she could drone on for hours and Akaashi wasn't sure that he wanted to stand for all of it.

"I'm doing well. And yourself? Have you found a good job yet?" Akaashi could hear the harshness in her voice, the condescending, controlling voice that he listened to for years. He knew the answers he was supposed to say. He knew that he was supposed to tell her that he was doing just fine, and that he had found a fine job. He was supposed to tell her that everything was just fine, perfectly fine. Yet, he couldn't find the words to say that.

For once in his life, he wanted to be honest with his parents. Akaashi wanted to come out and say that living alone gave him so much hope for a better life, one where he is free to do as he pleases. He wants to be able to tell his parents that he got a job working as a childcare worker at a local daycare. He wants to say that he's stressed, that he doesn't want to feel the fear of his parent's restrictions. Of course, he has no way to say that. He'd have to move back in with his mother and his father because they couldn't trust him.

He hated it. He hated holding it all in because his parents wouldn't listen. He hated it so much, but he never voiced his concerns. 

"I am doing well; I have found a job and will begin working two days from now," Akaashi answered flatly, void of emotion. "How are your cases coming along?" Trying to change the subject, he asked about his mother's work. Being a lawyer, she had plenty to talk about. 

"They are as they usually are, obviously. Some of the most pointless things have come through; the though of gay rights, how silly. Oh, and there was this girl who claimes she was a boy! She came through and wanted to be able to use the men's restroom. Isn't that so peculiar?" She said, laughing into the speaker of her phone. 

Akaashi thought the only thing that was pointless was the fact that she was laughing about something valid and fine, but, of course, he wouldn't say any thing about that.

"Oh, yes. That is very odd," he said, mentally sighing and hoping that his mother wouldn't catch onto his hesitation. 

Akaashi could here the faint tapping of nails on the other side of the line. "So, boy, tell me of your work. What do you do?" 

"I work with children at a care center," he chose his words carefully, knowing full well that one wrong thing said could lead to his mother blowing up on him. 

The phone went quiet before a light, angred laughter filled Akaashi's ears. "Ah, you're joking, right? Surely I have raised you better than that, Keiji. Working with children is so below you."

He figured she would play it off as a joke. He knew of the money she spent on him and the work that she had done to help pay for the basic necessities of life. He knew that she only ever expected high-level work from him; he was taught to always be ahead of everyone else, to keep a higher status. 

He took a deep breath before responding. "It is a temporary job for before the school year starts. It pays well and has long hours." He needed to stretch the truth at least a little to make sure everything would please his mother. "The only reason I chose such a job is because it was the singular workplace that did not have an excessive commute and that hired at a younger age."

Akaashi could her the disappointment in his mother's voice, could picture her angered features. "I raised you better than that, Keiji," she said, spitting his name out. He winced at her tone. "I did not raise you to work a commoner's job-- do you even know how much money I wasted on you? I spent money that your father and I worked hard for so that you could have a good education, and you use it on working in a daycare? I am offended, boy. God, I knew I should have aborted you. The Akaashi name shouldn't be wasted on something like you."

He let out a quiet sigh, hardly audible, and looked up at the ceiling. It was okay, he told himself. Of course his mother wouldn't mean that, he told himself. It was all out of anger, he told himself. 

"Even a job at an animal shelter would suit you better-- at least you'd be working with your kind." Akaashi dug his nails into the skin of his palm, releasing and tightening the hold. It was okay, he told himself. Of course his mother wouldn't mean that, he told himself. It was all out of anger, he told himself. "You must scare those poor children half to death with a face such as yours. How despicable."

"Yes, Mother," he mumbled, knowing that she would continue. If he didn't say something, she'd think he wasn't listening to her relentless words, and she would only get angrier and more brutal. He was surprised that she hadn't cursed yet; she was usually quite vulgar with her language.

The woman spoke for what felt like hours upon hours, using vulgar words to stab Akaashi. "Cunt" this and "fucker" that. The only reason it stopped, the only reason it ever stopped, was because his father came home from work. He would hear what his wife was saying, and slowly coaxed her away from the phone. 

The moment Akaashi's mother hung up, he quickly made his way to his doorway, carelessly throwing on a coat and pulling on his shoes. He was clad in sweatpants and a t-shirt, out in the crisp air of the night as he yanked open his front door and stepping outside. He didn't bother locking the door; there was nothing of value in his home, anyways. 

Akaashi walked. He walked down the hallway and down each flight of stairs. He walked out onto the sidewalk and simply continued walking. He had no particular destination in mind; it was late into the night and no place but bars and clubs would be open. He just didn't want to be in his apartment. 

He did the same thing when he still lived with his parents. After every long lecture given to him by his mother or slap given by his father, he'd walk to calm himself down. It usually only took a few moments for him to settle, but he was unusually restless, helplessly riled up. His mind was somewhere else as he paced down the sidewalks, the occasional car driving by. 

He wasn't thinking-- well, rather, he was thinking too much as he came to an intersection. It was quite busy for this late at night, not that Akaashi had bothered to notice. He was too caught up in what his mother had told him, the words that she had said just twenty minutes before. His fingers and toes were cold and he could feel it, but at the same time, he felt nothing at all. It was like the numbness of his fingertips had spread to his heart, not letting him feel what he should be able to feel. He just felt nothing. 

He came to the intersection, about to step off of the sidewalk to continue his straight path to who-knows-where, when a car came whizzing by. Akaashi's hands were deep in the pockets of his jacket, his legs shaking under his sweatpants. It was by the abrupt pull of his hood that he was not mercilessly hit by the driver who was so clearly speeding. 

Akaashi had regained his composure as he hit the ground with a loud thump, turning his head immediately to find the cause of his fall. A man, dressed nicely in skinny khakis and a sweater, groaned as he too sat up. Akaashi recognized him, but only because of the sheer fact that no one else could have bedhead like Kuroo Tetsurou does.

"Kuroo-san..?" Akaashi dawdled, following Kuroo's eyes as he stood and offered a hand to Akaashi. Akaashi took it, pulling himself up using Kuroo's hand. 

Kuroo shook his head, looking down at Akaashi. "Man, that was close, you know? You could have easily gotten hit right there," Kuroo said seriously, looking at Akaashi with condescending eyes. 

"I am sorry that I have inconvenienced you, Kuroo-san," Akaashi replied, bowing at the waist. 

This surprised Kuroo, who immediately started shaking his hands in front of him. "No, no! It's not a big deal," he said, watching as Akaashi stood straight. "I was just worried, that's all. Did something happen? I mean, you looked pretty out of it."

"No, I just was thinking too much. I apologize for worrying you," Akaashi said, looking down as his shoes. He could now feel the cold air nipping at his toes and at his cheeks, the rusty, metal taste of the blood where he had unknowingly chewed at the inside of his mouth. He let out a short breath, a silent sigh. 

Kuroo wasn't sure that Akaashi was telling the truth: really, it was almost obvious that Akaashi was lying. But Kuroo didn't actually know the boy standing nervously in front of him, other than the name he went by. He didn't want to impose on this stranger's life. 

Yet, at the same time, he didn't actually care. Maybe the whole trick was to befriend Akaashi, to make him feel less of an outsider. The moment Kuroo had laid eyes on Akaashi, he could tell that there was something off about him. Kuroo couldn't place his finger on it, but it was there and it was bold. He wanted to relinquish that oddness that this mysterious Akaashi Keiji had about him, and decided the best way to go about doing so was to take said boy out for coffee at eleven in the night. 

When Kuroo proposed the idea, Akaashi had been well against it. If his parents found out that he was even talking to someone, they would have his head. But it was late and Keiji wasn't exactly thinking correctly, so he let Kuroo take his hand and lead him to a small coffee shop that was open unusually late. 

Kuroo held the door open for Akaashi, who slowly walked through. It wasn't to be rude; he just felt so mentally drained. Together, they sat down at a small booth in the virtually empty shop, sitting across from one another. A petit woman came out, took their orders, and promptly left. Kuroo started talking first, giving Akaashi a chance to lay his head down on the table. Kuroo' voice was soft, deep but so very gentle. It lulled Akaashi to sleep, a short nap. Kuroo knew that the boy across from him was no longer conscious, and that had been his goal. Akaashi looked like he had a rough day, and based on the deep-set bags under his eyes, Kuroo guessed that it was likely that Akaashi hadn't gotten good sleep in awhile. 

Kuroo talked aimlessly about different things, like his best friend and school. He just rambled on until their drinks came, to which he woke Akaashi up. They shared their drinks over small talk and undeclared game of twenty questions. It relieved Akaashi from the stress of his mother's words, pushed them to the back of his mind, if only temporarily. 

Akaashi found that he genuinely liked Kuroo, and thought that having a real conversation with someone who wasn't a relative or an employer was quite nice. When they had left the shop after paying, it was Akaashi who asked if they could meet like this again. Kuroo agreed earnestly, smiling down as the shorter male. 

As Akaashi made his little trip back home, he felt lighter. He was still heavily weighed down by his mother and father, but at the same time, he felt that maybe some of that had been released. 

It was easy to come home and fall asleep to the memory of Kuroo's voice.


	4. I've Come to Collect Your Debt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oops i've had this done for awhile

The start of the school year began to roll around, making Akaashi sigh intetnally. It's not that he didn't like school; he actually enjoyed it profusely. It was the sheer fact that his parents would be keeping a much closer eye on him now. 

He had gone out with Kuroo again, to the same little coffee shop. They got to know one another better, though Akaashi wasn't a very open person. He didn't feel the need to share anything about his life at home as he saw it unnecessary and pointless. He figured that Kuroo wouldn't want to hear about it, either. 

He still made his little trips to Gwen's corner store, enjoying all of their little talks. She was a very perceptive woman, and knew that Akaashi hadn't been dealt a very good hand. She tried her hardest to act as a motherly figure, even if she never adressed the situation directly. 

His work at the daycare did not cease, despite what his mother said. He enjoyed spending time with each and every child who he saw come in. He'd read them cute picture-book stories, ones that he would get excited to read. He'd cross his legs and sit down with each child, colouring with them and making conversation with them. When each parent or guardian came to retrieve their child, he's watch them closely. He was skeptical of everyone, but his politeness never once faltered. 

His boss and coworkers loved him, and they thought that he was the most pure soul. He was graceful in every aspect to them, shining like a beautiful diamond hit by the light. It made each of his sides reflect on everything around him, bringing beauty to those who were close. 

Everyone saw the beauty of Akaashi Keiji except for Akaashi Keiji himself and his family. 

When he walked into Fukurodani Academy on the first day of school, he was nothing less than terrified. There was so much hustle and bustle, and he was left in the wind of the moving train of people. 

He tried his best to keep to himself. He couldn't reveal himself, couldn't let people read but more than his introduction. He couldn't let people read the entirety of his story, not even a page. Not a paragraph, nor a single word past his opening. It was his story, and sadly, it would have to stay that way.

Unfortunately for Akaashi, it is very difficult to stay under the radar when you've even just once told Bokuto Koutarou your name. 

A loud gasp caught Akaashi's attention as he walked towards his class. He turned his head to see where the noise came from, generally curious. Low and behold comes a running Bokuto, the one Akaashi remembers meeting in Gwen's store with Kuroo. 

The boy with the owl-like features stopped just in front of Akaashi. "Akaashi! How are you?" He asked, embracing the smaller male, who was not ready for such physical contact. 

"I'm fine, Bokuto-san. Can you please let go of me?" Akaashi tried to remain as polite as possible. Bokuto immediately released his hold on Akaashi, raising his hand to put it and Akaashi's shoulder. Though, he refrained from doing so, because he could see Akaashi flinch at his hand. 

Bokuto Koutarou made his first mistake of not thinking to adress it. 

Akaashi began walking again, Bokuto following at an easy pace beside him. "Have you thought about joining any clubs?" The man in question shook his head, gazing at the floor. "I wouldn't have the time for it," Akaashi swiftly lied, sparing the honest details. 

"Why not?" Bokuto asked, looking sideways at the shorter boy. 

"I have to focus on my school work and have a job that I prioritize," Akaashi sighed, searching for the lunchroom. He hadn't been properly led around the school by means of his own search nor by other's aid, so he wasn't familiar with it's layout. Thankfully, though, he was walking next to a second-year student who knew where he was headed based on pure instict. Akaashi simply followed Bokuto out and about the students gathered in the large dining hall. 

"The volleyball club is pretty laid back," Bokuto said, wiggling his eyebrows. "You seem like the setter type." Akaashi stiffled a light laugh at the way Bokuto moved his oddly-shaped eyebrows, and he remained as stoic as possible. 

"While that sounds very interesting, I am afraid that I cannot, Bokuto-san." Akaashi found himself in the lunch line next to Bokuto, who had grabbed a tray for himself and was filling it up with the fod he desired. Akaashi, on the other hand, just grabbed a free, school-issued water bottle and stepped out of line to give someone else the space. 

Bokuto shot him a curious glance, again using his eyebrows to display his thoughts. "Is that all your getting? That's not very healthy," he questioned, paying for his lunch and moving to walk next to Akaashi. "Yeah," Akaashi replied, shrugging. "I forgot my money. I'm not particularly hungry, anyways."

"Are you sure? You can have something of mine, if you'd like," Bokuto offered, holding his tray in the direction of the first-year. Akaashi shook his head as a reply. "I'll be fine, but thank you. Now, I guess I'm going to head off. Goodbye, Bokuto-san," he said, giving a small wave before taking a step forward. 

"Do you have a place to eat? You can come sit with me and a few of the other volleyball players," Bokuto asked. "We have plenty of room if you want to."

Akaashi wanted to join them; of course he did. He had never once been offered a table to sit at, and here this boy was, asking him to sit by his side at lunch. It was even the first day of school, mind you, and Akaashi saw it as a major step up. But, Akaashi knew that his parent's watchful eye was always upon him, searching for any kind of a slip up. If he has agreed, that alone would cost him is head. Despite the miles in between them, he could feel this mothers eyes burning into him, his father's condescending gaze. So, he declined Bokuto's offer. 

"Thank you, but I already have a place to sit," Akaashi replied, picturing one of the bathroom stalls or a corner in an empty hallway, even the roof. 

"Are you sure? Really, if you want to join us, nobody at our table would mind," Bokuto said, cocking his head to the side.

Akaashi nodded, stepping away from Bokuto and lessening the proximity between them. "I really do appreciate the offer, Bokuto-san. But, I'll be alright." With a small wave, he walked away from a very curious Bokuto Koutarou.

◆◇•-----•◇◆

After his final class had ended, Akaashi quickly made his way to his workplace. He had a shift until nine o'clock that evening, and didn't want to be late. 

For the past few weeks, it had only been Akaashi and Shino working at the same time; there hadn't ever been a time where Akaashi's schedule had coincided with another worker's. Shino had said that she wouldn't be working with him today, but instead, one of the other employees. While Akaashi was internally excited to meet a new person, he was externally quite nervous for the encounter. 

There was also the whole Akaashi-telling-his-mother-that-this-was-only-a-job-for-before-the-school-year thing, but that was at the back of his mind. 

As he walked into the building, he gingerly took his shoes off in favor of a more appropriate pair for being indoors. Of course, there was already another authority figure inside with the children, and from what he could see, it was a tall male with blonde hair. The boy spotted him, and walked over to the entrance of the area where the kids stayed. 

"Hey, you here to pick someone up?" He asked, leaning on the counter. 

"Uh, no," Akaashi said, looking up at the boy. "I work here, with, uh, you, I guess." 

The male's face lit up. "Oh, so you're the Akaashi Keiji that Shino-senpai was talking about! The name's Konoha Akinori, at your service," Konoha said, holding out his hand to Akaashi. Akaashi took it, shaking it politely. 

"It's nice to meet you, Konoha-san." Akaashi smiled, some of his fears assuaged. Konoha opened the door for Akaashi, letting him walk through. Akaashi made sure to grab his name tag out of his pocket, pinning it on and adjusting it accordingly. 

Upon looking up, he took in the children who were there. There were six: an even number of girls and boys. Two of the girls, along with one of the boys, were in the midst of what seemed to be a very intense game of Monopoly. It was very clear that the oldest female was winning, based on the younger girl's and her male peer's facial expressions. To the far right of them were the other children, all happily colouring on pre-drawn pages and drawing on clean, white paper. Among that trio, Akaashi saw Mako, quietly drawing a seat away from the others at the round table. 

Konoha had gone off to monitor the three game-players, so Akaashi had made his way to Mako's side, sitting in the empty chair that separated him from the other two children. "Hey, hey, buddy," Akaashi said quietly, resting his hand on Mako's back. The boy's head whipped up, looking at Akaashi with excitement written all over his face. 

"Hi, Akaashi-san!" Mako exclaimed, already having discarded his pencil. "Are we going to draw today?"

The girl and boy who were also sitting at the table shared their greetings, Akaashi following in suit. "Yeah, we can draw today. Remember, though, I'm not as good as you are. Heck, can't even colour like you guys can!" Akaashi said, pointing to the girl's work. 

"I'm sure you can, Akaashi-san! You can probably colour something really pretty!" The boy, who went by the name of Ryu, said, pulling out a cat colouring page and setting in front of Akaashi. 

"I don't know, but I'll try my best. How about I make something for each of you?" Akaashi asked, taking the bin of pencil crayons and moving it closer to him. The three kids expressed their agreements, nodding their heads. They stared intently at Akaashi's hand as he picked up a black pencil and began his work.

Akaashi coloured away, gently shading the entire cartoon cat a pale grey as his base. He then went on to add the darker areas, shading as he went and using his base grey as the highlights in the black fur. He just did as he remembered seeing, taking what he knew about cats and the way they moved, the way that a cat's glossy fur would shine under the onslaught of the moonlight and how their small paws were always tense and balanced. He took into consideration the way a cat's whiskers were long but often went unnoticed if not really looking. He thought about a cat's tail, and how it provided it's emotions as though a human's face would, and how a cat's ears would do the same. He rendered everything about the cat physically as important, for the way a cat would move and appear is what let the cat express and heed emotion. Akaashi paid attention to these things, he paid attention to the cat itself.

The cat in front of him was plain and boring. It was the mere outline of a creature so very complex. It had no substance, nothing to it. This cat, sitting two dimensionally on the table, stuck inside a piece of copy paper, was himself. Nothing more than an outline of what he could be, nothing but the cookie-cutter version of himself that he was. 

This cat didn't represent, not even for a moment, the eyes of a cat. The glassy balls of colour that hold the world, but don't at the same time. The eyes of a cat shout silently into the masses of beauty; all that a cat's eyes hold means nothing when compared to everything else beautiful in the world. It was easy to overlook a cat's eyes. Sad, crystal eyes filled with so much emotion and vigor, but sealed behind closed doors to those indifferent. 

Akaashi wasn't an artist, though, and couldn't capture the eyes of a cat. He simply did not have the ability to put all of the intricate details into this pair of lonely eyes, and so he did not. He thought that he was thinking too much about the cat's eyes, so he stopped thinking as he finished. 

In turn of the completion of the picture, Akaashi handed it to Ryu with a light smile on his face. "There you go, bud," he said. 

"Woah! Akaashi-san, this is amazing!" Ryu gasped, holding the paper above is face. The two other children gathered around Ryu, staring at the cat on the paper. 

"It looks like it could jump out of the paper!" Mako said excitedly. 

Ryu raised himself from his chair, bounding over to Konoha to show him what Akaashi had done. "Lookie, lookie!" Akaashi could here him calling, seeing Konoha turn away from the other kids to address Ryu. Akaashi could see Konoha's smile, and as they made eye contact, saw the wink that Konoha sent him. Akaashi smiled in return, content. 

◆◇•-----•◇◆

After work, and after completing two more colourings for Mako and the girl, Macchi, Akaashi and Konoha locked the door to the building. 

"The kids like you very much, Konoha-san," Akaashi said, looking at the taller male, his lips upturned.

"As they do you! You're plenty popular with the kids, especially with those artistic skills of yours," Konoha replied, sending another wink towards Akaashi. "Really, they love you. It's nice to see that they've taken you in so easily. "

Akaashi looked at the ground, still smiling. "Thank you, Konoha-san." 

"Of course," Konoha said, patting Akaashi on the back. "Do go right or left? If you go to the left, I can walk with you." 

Akaashi stared at the parting in the road, saddened by the fact that he lived to the right. "No, I live over that way," he said, pointing towards the right. "Thank you for the offer, though." 

"Ah, darn. And here I wanted to walk and talk with you some more. When's the next time you work?" 

"I work two days from now," Akaashi recited, having memorized his schedule. 

"Nice! I work on Thursday, too. See you then?" Konoha asked, extending his hand. Akaashi gently took it in his own, shaking it. 

"See you then."


End file.
